so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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