I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
