if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
