Where is the hickey?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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