My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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