I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
