He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
