Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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