She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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