She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize