She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize