in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
