just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
