do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
