took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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