it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
