I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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