Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
