so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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