Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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