You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
