If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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