last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
