Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
