You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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