Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i love accidental penises.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
