I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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