check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
