Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
