proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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