And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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