Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
