Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
