My balls are so social today.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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