How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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