you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize