But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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