I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
