I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
