Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize