You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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