But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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