You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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