So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
