so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
