yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
