A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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