I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im six kinds of drunk right now
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
