I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
