I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
