bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize