Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
