I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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