I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
