i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
