omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Randomize
