i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
