you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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