what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
