What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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