Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
