I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
love makes seman taste better
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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