She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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