the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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