Your dad touched me again.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
