If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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