Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
