dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
