she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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