lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
