Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
