when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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