You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
