What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
