Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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