His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
