Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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