plz talk dirty to me
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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