4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
