no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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