I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He has the fingertips of a God
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
