I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
