Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
